Finally: the everlasting gobstopper has arrived!

Well, technically, no. A gobstopper is actually a jawbreaker, but really, this might do the trick anyway. Cadbury Schweppes, in their infinite glory, has developed Stride, the "Ridiculously long lasting gum." I read somewhere about developing flavors that release over time somehow, and if I can dig up anything, I'll let y'all know. Meanwhile, I'll have to play Violet Beauregard (pictured) and chew some for a spell. The web site promises a free shot at it but then tells you that you're too late, you blew it, no free gum for you. What they're really saying, however, is, "We stink, and our web czar is too lazy to withdraw this part of the site so that you won't get frustrated that you could have gotten a free taste, think we're dicks and never buy our gum." Hello, marketing dept.?!